I have recently bought a bookshelf and during assembly I let my 1.5 yo son hammer in some attachment lugs. Meanwhile my parents were in horror that he could damage it (he didn't) but I couldn't care less...
I am now a father of 2. My daughter (who will be 2 at the end of this month) is quite advanced. She can count to 20, can not only sing her ABCs but identify each letter out of sequence when prompted, can identify many objects and form short sentences now, identify all colors, she has different names for all 4 of her grandparents and identifies them accordingly and I've begin teaching her piano, although she's a bit more interested in my guitar (I'll get there with her when her hands are a bit bigger).
This is not only exciting to her mother and I, but she has many characteristics I did when I was her age.. she is notoriously difficult and very particular in her preferences. I believe this is because her solid intelligence is well beyond her emotional intelligence and I'm working on a way to help her express herself constructively. This is something my parents didn't understand when I was that young and I remember them being exhausted, numbed and beyond frustrated with me at times.
My son is still quite young (3 weeks old), but like his sister, is exhibiting some of the motor skills she did, like holding his bottle and binky, etc.
My hope is that by nurturing their peculiarities and helping them forge those characteristics, they'll be far beyond me by the time their consciousness fully takes hold. I had some self esteem issues and was not treated well in school by children and teachers alike, but I'm hoping my methods will give them the confidence that I didn't have (not for a lack of skill, my parents gave me everything I needed to form my skills), so they can challenge those who would mistreat them with courage and Intelligence and hopefully thrive in a world that is becoming more idiocratic by the day.
I appreciate your article. It's insightful and I wish I had an uncle Rex who had the understanding you do. Most of my uncles and aunts were degenerates or too caught up in their own lives to care as much as you do 🙏🏻
Your comment means so much to me. Thank you for sharing parts of your story. These articles about proper parenting are the ones I treasure the most. I only hope we can make some meaningful impact with these ideas. “I wish I had an uncle Rex” Thanks! That’s what it’s all about! At the end of the day, it’s how we treat children that defines and judges our species.
As a european father of 5 kids currently living in the US, my observation is quite different. Kids here are entitled, spoiled and have extreme self-esteem by being praised all the time for no valuable achievements to the point of developing narcissistic tendencies. For any parent who raises kids here I would put more emphasis on limits and ensuring praise is linked to real achievements to ensure self esteem is rooted in reality.
You describe spoiled children that are also the victims of abuse. They are neglected and their needs for attention are bought off with money and trinkets. My argumentation still stands.
I personally dislike the word self-esteem because of my observations of its common use. By focusing on the semantics you may have missed the meaning being conveyed in this essay. Sortiris Rex's observations ring true in my opinion. If anything I would expand his conclusion to mention one vital need for proper human development that modern life deprives us of and it is seldom even seen. In very primitive cultures, children are given tasks that are vital to the group's survival. Their worth is never in question. In modern life they are given chores as a training tool. This makes them into nuisances to be managed instead of vital members then ultimately strangers in their own homes. Our technological advancement is incongruous with our instinctive nature. Some of our ample intelligence should be devoted to understanding and accommodating human nature. Rex sharing his guitar in this way was a wonderful gesture. This grumpy man loves children.
I have recently bought a bookshelf and during assembly I let my 1.5 yo son hammer in some attachment lugs. Meanwhile my parents were in horror that he could damage it (he didn't) but I couldn't care less...
That’s the idea! Treating children with respect will inevitably build their self-respect.
Outstanding article Rex,
I am now a father of 2. My daughter (who will be 2 at the end of this month) is quite advanced. She can count to 20, can not only sing her ABCs but identify each letter out of sequence when prompted, can identify many objects and form short sentences now, identify all colors, she has different names for all 4 of her grandparents and identifies them accordingly and I've begin teaching her piano, although she's a bit more interested in my guitar (I'll get there with her when her hands are a bit bigger).
This is not only exciting to her mother and I, but she has many characteristics I did when I was her age.. she is notoriously difficult and very particular in her preferences. I believe this is because her solid intelligence is well beyond her emotional intelligence and I'm working on a way to help her express herself constructively. This is something my parents didn't understand when I was that young and I remember them being exhausted, numbed and beyond frustrated with me at times.
My son is still quite young (3 weeks old), but like his sister, is exhibiting some of the motor skills she did, like holding his bottle and binky, etc.
My hope is that by nurturing their peculiarities and helping them forge those characteristics, they'll be far beyond me by the time their consciousness fully takes hold. I had some self esteem issues and was not treated well in school by children and teachers alike, but I'm hoping my methods will give them the confidence that I didn't have (not for a lack of skill, my parents gave me everything I needed to form my skills), so they can challenge those who would mistreat them with courage and Intelligence and hopefully thrive in a world that is becoming more idiocratic by the day.
I appreciate your article. It's insightful and I wish I had an uncle Rex who had the understanding you do. Most of my uncles and aunts were degenerates or too caught up in their own lives to care as much as you do 🙏🏻
Your comment means so much to me. Thank you for sharing parts of your story. These articles about proper parenting are the ones I treasure the most. I only hope we can make some meaningful impact with these ideas. “I wish I had an uncle Rex” Thanks! That’s what it’s all about! At the end of the day, it’s how we treat children that defines and judges our species.
On behalf of your niece, THANK YOU!
The section on "spoiling" was especially powerful.
Thank you very much. I hope this can improve at least one child’s life.
As a european father of 5 kids currently living in the US, my observation is quite different. Kids here are entitled, spoiled and have extreme self-esteem by being praised all the time for no valuable achievements to the point of developing narcissistic tendencies. For any parent who raises kids here I would put more emphasis on limits and ensuring praise is linked to real achievements to ensure self esteem is rooted in reality.
You describe spoiled children that are also the victims of abuse. They are neglected and their needs for attention are bought off with money and trinkets. My argumentation still stands.
I personally dislike the word self-esteem because of my observations of its common use. By focusing on the semantics you may have missed the meaning being conveyed in this essay. Sortiris Rex's observations ring true in my opinion. If anything I would expand his conclusion to mention one vital need for proper human development that modern life deprives us of and it is seldom even seen. In very primitive cultures, children are given tasks that are vital to the group's survival. Their worth is never in question. In modern life they are given chores as a training tool. This makes them into nuisances to be managed instead of vital members then ultimately strangers in their own homes. Our technological advancement is incongruous with our instinctive nature. Some of our ample intelligence should be devoted to understanding and accommodating human nature. Rex sharing his guitar in this way was a wonderful gesture. This grumpy man loves children.